Some people are needy … and they’re greedy. And, really, it’s simply because they don’t know what they want, they don’t have a clue. Still, they spend all day going after it … single-mindedly ... blowing their horns at everyone around them so they can keep their foot on the gas and never have to think about where they’re going … or why. Then at the end of the day their cup is empty because they weren’t going after anything important. Funny thing is, they’re just as clueless about that as well ... their accidental life. Problem is, death is a sure thing. Shouldn’t life be?
I do know what’s important to me and I do go after it every day. I know that I want the people who fill my heart, my days and my nights with love and laughter and tears, to be happy and to have whatever it is they need. I know I want to write, I need to write.
So, I work a job that actually pays to help accommodate our family’s needs and a few wants. I put food on the table, laughter in their hearts, and kisses on their lips. I might not have as much time as what I’d like to spend on the people who live in my heart or on my writing, but at least I know at the end of the day that I have spent some time on each of them.
I bicycle to and from work whenever possible to save money, keep my body from squeaking at me, and do my little bit for the world around me. Yes, there’s no AC and it’s hot … this is Houston, after all, pushing 100 degrees or more some days. Yes, there’s no radio, no phone calls, no texting. Yes, it takes me a little longer to get home, but only a little.
And on my way, I let go of the day … the stress at work, the need to be in a different moment. I feel the wind slide around me, brushing through my hair. I hear the soft swoosh of my tires against the pavement, the birds chattering in the trees, men mowing lawns, a dog barking. The sun plays through the trees, sprinkling light around me, leading me home … and I can see them all smiling and laughing, filling the evening with hugs and kisses, the highs and lows of their day. William will hand me an ice cold margarita, ask about my writing, kiss me, and never quite stop touching me until I leave again the next morning.
My intentional life … it’s as sure a thing for me as breathing. I don’t have a big house, a fancy car or tickets to the Caribbean in my back pocket. But I’m truly happy with my life, as little as it might seem to others. For me, my cup is overflowing with all the right stuff.
So there they are in their Lexus half a block down from the intersection and I come up to the same intersection from the right on my bike. But here’s this person honking their horn at me from half a block away because they’re not willing to lift their foot and push on the brake to let me go through … because they’re so focused on pushing on that gas pedal to get to a place that they don’t even want to go.
I smile to myself, wave at them … blow them a kiss. It’s kind of crazy. Because I have a place I do want to get to … every day.
I think, even if I had a horn, I’d still blow a kiss …